That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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