you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
