; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
