So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
