My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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