So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
