in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
