Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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