"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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