I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
