Plan B is the new Plan A
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
there is glitter all over my balls
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