I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
