thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
