I wish I could teleport
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
