if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I am available for nakedness
Randomize