Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize