i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
