Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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