He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
