I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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