hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
