The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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