what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
