either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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