so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So squirting runs in the family.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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