***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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