she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
