You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
