Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
