she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
