well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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