no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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