You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
3 2 1 whiskey
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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