all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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