White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
