i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
