If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
