soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
