I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
