Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
