She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
