My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
