brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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