you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
