everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
