Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't deserve a penis
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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