If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
