i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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