i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
