I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
