STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
